Watch Out for the Bull!

Having been inactive in our solar system for eons, God had missed several great events on Earth. One look told him it was time to opt for change. To celebrate the attempt of certain Europeans to keep the peace on the most warlike continent on the planet - via the EU - He created Euroheaven.

With God’s support, Satan set up a comparative afterlife unit called European Federal Hell. (Feder’ell for short.)

To demonstrate that He, God, was abreast of contemporary events, these changes were to coincide with the advent of the euro as it hit selected European streets on January 1, 2002.

But God had other motives: 9/11 appalled Him and knew that reaction to it would lead to the deterioration of the support systems of the planet. He’d also audited Earth’s species, those that had survived the Mankind-effect, and He didn’t like the numbers. Postponing immediate Armageddon He called a meeting. This was a first.

Thus He decided to send forth a messenger, a resurrected Chinaman called Wong Luong-li. Wong’s task was to inform EU citizens that if they played their cards right, they could not only aspire to Euroheaven (where the French are the cooks), they would also have an opportunity to save the planet. If not...

Another incentive: if they failed to qualify for entry into Euroheaven, they would end up in Feder’ell, where dry-slope ski-jumping is compulsory to all inmates.

Part I of the book explains everything, including events leading up to Super Cheese Ball Crash, the deadliest road traffic accident of the 21st Century thus far. This section concerns motorists, for whom He has published some new commandments; and not just for motorists.

Part II records the arrival in Euroheaven and Federal Hell of the victims of the Super Cheese Ball Crash which, by an extraordinary dollop of fate, coincided with the advent of the euro (as mentioned).

‘Bonus’ Part III is optional. It describes a failed attempt to introduce a similar model for citizens of the United States to follow.